


Narcissism because of necessity

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Burned out gifted kid, I just want to feel like I have reached my goals, Implied suicide related topics, LMAO, The neurodivergence adds ✨flavor✨, i am in so much physical and mental pain, it’s just sad, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Burned out gifted kid vents and talks about their negligent parents.That’s it. That’s the fic.
Kudos: 3





	Narcissism because of necessity

I used to be, and to a certain degree still am, a genius.  
(“The scores were so high we couldn’t even put them on the chart... You’re really something else aren’t you?”)  
But nobody ever told me being ‘mentally gifted’ meant I would forever be stuck in people’s expectations of me.

Even though my parents never told me they were proud of me or celebrated any of my successes, their judgement feels the most important.  
Perhaps because they didn’t, all I ever wanted was to proof something to them.  
(“Not right now, okay? This is more important right now.”)  
They probably don’t even care, but still.  
I love them, deep down, no matter their negligence.

But recently...

I have no passion or desire, no motivation or dreams to follow.  
I’m just existing, putting in the absolute minimal effort required to continue doing so comfortably.  
I can’t even be sad about it because, well, those feelings are just gone. And now the only thing that makes me happy or makes me feel anything at all are things that exist solely in my head. Universes I created and people I care about. Voices I look forward to talking to and studies I wish to follow.  
All in my head. And I don’t know how to get there or how to be that person.  
(“I’m lost and I don’t want to be here. Please just do what you know you need to do. We are in pain.”)

How long?  
How much longer until my mind has completely rotten and my thoughts turn to maggots crawling through my flesh.  
How much longer until all my feelings disappear and I will be merely a shell.

How can I save myself when no one else will?


End file.
